A plotless, pointless, laughless collection of desperate lowbrow gags in the guise of a coherent film, Grown Ups 2 must be seen to be believed
Scary Movie 5 is the (belated) fifth film in the spoof franchise that died with the last film in 2006 and should have stayed buried
The Host is the kind of bad movie only a talented filmmaker can make: it’s something especially awful
A Haunted House follows in the grand tradition set by Scary Movie more than a decade ago and beat to death by the Friedberg-Seltzer ‘Movies’
Beautiful Creatures is mostly well done from a technical standpoint, with terrific widescreen lensing, sets and costumes
Movie 43, a parade of Saturday Night Live-style skits that intends to shock you with poor taste, is missing just one thing: the jokes
One for the Money grabs you by the neck, forces your nose into it, and sees how many sensibilities it can offend
The Devil Inside is a cheap, gimmicky, braindead found footage supernatural thriller riding on the heels of The Blair Witch Project
Jack and Jill is cynical and contemptuous filmmaking at its very worst, insipid and lazy and raking in revnue
I Don’t Know How She Does It is a patronizing, insulting film that seems to serve as a piece of propaganda for American family values
The Three Musketeers, from Resident Evil helmer Paul W.S. Anderson, is not a definitive adaptation of the Alexandre Dumas classic
Abduction is a slick, polished effort from a usually reliable director, featuring an intriguing premise and a talented cast
Sucker Punch is just that. It’s an unbearable exercise in tedium that blindsides the audience, a pandering ComiCon fanboy disaster
Burlesque isn’t just a bad movie, it’s the worst kind of a bad movie: a tediously conventional slog that denies us even the smallest pleasures
Chain Letter is an out-and-out joke of a film, a risible piece of garbage incompetent on every level
Eat Pray Love is one of the most excruciatingly torturous cinematic experience in recent memory
Grown Ups is faintly amusing in fits and spurts, but it’s otherwise obvious and bland – in other words, lame
The Back-up Plan is a formula romantic comedy, more transparent than most and usually offensively so
The characters in Sex and the City 2 are modern day variations of those from Caligula or Luchino Visconti’s The Damned
Did You Hear About the Morgans?, one of the very worst films of 2009, is an objectionably awful romantic comedy
Fame features too many characters, not enough plot; nothing to grab our attention and nothing for us to grasp hold of
The Ugly Truth continues a disturbing new breed of raunchy romantic comedy; it panders to members of both sexes, and manages to insult them equally
Night of the Living Dead 3D is a cheap cash-in trying to capitalize on the name of the original and the recent resurgence in 3D films
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen doesn’t even work on the level of toy commercial