Marcus Nispel’s Friday the 13th is yet another pointless remake of a ‘classic’ slasher film, in the footsteps of Halloween, Black Christmas, Prom Night, etc., etc., all the way down to My Bloody Valentine, coming later this year, in 3-D no less. Except for Halloween and few others, most of the original films weren’t any good in the first place. But they sure made money.
This Friday isn’t really a remake of the original – it recaps the first film’s events in the opening minutes, as Mrs. Voorhees kills some camp counselors she holds responsible for her son Jason’s drowning death, before being beheaded by one of her intended victims.
Next, the film recaps Friday the 13th, part II, as an adult Jason, wearing a bag over his head, slays a group of campers. Then we get a title card, half an hour into the movie – thanks, I was wondering what this was.
Finally, we recap Friday the 13th, Part 3, as Jason dons his famous hockey mask and slays some more campers. There’s a fragmented plot about a brother searching for his sister, who went missing – she was actually kidnapped by Jason and is now being held in his underground lair.
Otherwise, the dramatic height is delivered by a concerned young man worried about his friends messing up his parent’s cottage – no less than five separate scenes are devoted to this thrilling plot point. A potentially bravura woodchipper finale is completely screwed up. End of movie.
One of the very few interesting things about the movie is how it occasionally shifts the point of view from the impossibly bland teenage cast to Jason, who we really want to see. It half-works, watching him walking around his lair, looking at his reflection in a mirror, seeing the traps he’s built. I wish the whole film just followed the killer around. Probably too arty.
There’s a large cast here, and almost everyone who appears on the screen is eventually killed in various ways, few of which can be described as inventive. The film delivers, I think, what fans want, or at least expect. Those walking into a Friday the 13th movie know what to expect by now, and they shouldn’t be disappointed by this one.
Nispel’s Friday the 13th probably isn’t any better than his 2003 take on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or Rob Zombie’s Halloween remake, but it feels far less insulting, if only because the original Friday – and the ten sequels that followed – weren’t all that good in the first place.
The “was it a dream?” shock ending was one of the more surprising and memorable aspects of the original film; here, not only can we see it coming a mile away, but Nispel literalizes it to the point of complete senselessness.
Get ready for A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010).
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